PEEVES by VAGINA JONES ››
When the cashier replaces the cash register's receipt tape before giving you your change back.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Shopping | 5.5.2010 | Comments (4)
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Etiquette | 11.15.2009 | Comments (0)
That popular rhetorical device wherein people ask and answer their own questions.
Hairnette: Do I hate when people answer their own questions?
Hairnette: Yes.
Hairnette: Have I done it myself?
Hairnette: Yes.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Language | 2.11.2009 | Comments (0)
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Etiquette | 10.17.2008 | Comments (1)
Out of town guests who think they're doing their host a favor by expressing no opinion about what activities they want to do while in town
The guest who says they just want to hang out and go with the flow while in town usually secretly expects a full itinerary of events to be in place upon their arrival.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Other | 10.21.2009 | Comments (2)
When people adopt an accent to say a foreign word even when foreign word is in common parlance
Commonly occurs when people are pronouncing the names of foreign countries or foods. Especially Mexican foods.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Conversation | 1.3.2009 | Comments (10)
— vagina jones from Aberdeen, WA | Public Places | 10.14.2008 | Comments (0)
The ring of churchbells
More grating to my Jew-ears than the sound of mezuzahs on a chalkboard.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, washington | Religion | 9.16.2008 | Comments (3)
Serious conversations on the dance floor.
If you're grinding up against me and "umbrella ella ella eh eh" is playing at incredibly high decibels, it's probably not the best time to decide whether you should go to law school, if the Shiites are really to blame, or what comes after post-modernism.
— vagina Jones from Aberdeen, washington | Conversation | 3.30.2009 | Comments (0)
Long wedding engagements
The longer you are engaged, the more you-centric my life becomes: engagement parties, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, the wedding itself. It's not just the thousands of dollars I have to spend to go to all these events and buy you crap for them, it's that now instead of having delightful conversations about the Holocaust and puppies, we are only allowed to talk about the decisions agonizing you: whether you should change your names, whether the tablecloths should be mauve or a heathery pink, what will happen when Jimmy and Tammy are in the same room at the reception. I mean, it's nice that you found somebody to fuck on a regular basis and all, but why does it have to so inconvenience me?
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen,WA | Relationships | 11.7.2008 | Comments (3)
When handsoap is diluted with water
If times are so tough that you must sacrifice cleanliness for thriftiness, then maybe you should be using bar soap.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, washington | Household | 6.25.2009 | Comments (2)
Being ignored by motion-sensor devices in public bathrooms
Toilets, faucets, paper towel dispensers, they all treat me like I'm invisible or motionless, when I am actually standing in front of them, flopping my hands around trying to trigger them so I can get the hell out of there.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, washington | Bathrooms | 2.17.2009 | Comments (2)
Accounts of what you dreamt about last night.
Unless I was in it, I'm not listening.
— vagina jones from aberdeen, washington | Conversation | 10.23.2008 | Comments (4)
Thought that occurs outside the box.
What are the dimensions of this box? How do you know my box is not bigger than yours? I kinda think that so many people are thinking outside the box these days, that the more original thoughts might be occurring inside of it. Like fashion, it might be so out that it's back in again. Whatever the case, I am damn tempted to bomb this box so that never again will I have to hear somebody being praised for thinking outside of it.
— Vagina Jones from aberdeen, washington | Language | 1.12.2009 | Comments (1)
The moral superiority shown by non-TV watchers.
You think you better than me just because you go hiking while I watch the Flava o' Love? Well, you're not. You go right ahead reading your Proust. I'm gonna settle in here, flipping between The Real Housewives of Orange County and Hogan Knows Best.
— vagina jones from aberdeen, washington | Television | 4.13.2009 | Comments (13)
Acronyms that when said orally, contain more syllables than the words they substitute.
WWJD
GW
WWW
— vagina jones from brooklyn, NY | Language | 4.1.2009 | Comments (5)
When people sneak up on you from behind, cover your eyes with their hands, and say "Guess who?" in a disguised voice.
Yeah, as if I can recognize you from the terrain of your sweaty palms over my closed eyelids, you asshole.
— vagina jones from Brooklyn, NY | Etiquette | 1.10.2010 | Comments (5)
Causing a garment to slip off its hanger at retail stores.
I'll give money to the homeless. I'll volunteer 35 hours a week to work with DV victims. I'll pick up litter. I'll squander my 20's working with Holocaust survivors, but I cannot -- ABSOLUTELY CANNOT -- be bothered to bend down to pick up a shirt that I've knocked off its hanger. Well, maybe if I'm at Barney's.
— vagina jones from brooklyn | Clothing | 12.1.2009 | Comments (4)
Disappointingly small bowel movements.
— vagina jones from | Bathrooms | 8.24.2009 | Comments (4)
— vagina jones from Aberdeen, Washington | Language | 6.14.2009 | Comments (1)
