PEEVE ››
Share-a-tab birthday meals with 8+ people
I miss the days when the birthday person was the host and the invitees were the guests.
Reasons why huge birthday dinners suck: 1) Dividing the bill equally sucks b/c my dinner salad was way cheaper than your veal w/ appetizer of escargot. 2) Not dividing the bill sucks because haggling over who ordered what, trying to divide the cost of the birthday person's meal by 11, deciphering the waiter's handwriting, deducting the costs of wine from the bill of those who didn't drink is tacky and time consuming and embarassing to do in front of the celebree. 3) Both suck because in big groups there are inevitably a few people who leave early and forget to calculate the costs of wine, tax and tip into their share.
THE SOLUTIONS: No more big birthday dinner UNLESS one person is treating OR big birthday dinners with pre fixe options and pre-set prices.
— Hairnette Funicello from malibu | Dining | 10.20.2008 | Comments (14)
COMMENTS ››
It's essentially paying for continued friendship. I'm with you sister.
— Biffy posted 10/20/2008
Can't you just ask the server for separate bills before you order?
— Elf posted 10/22/2008
I refuse to do these types of dinners unless I've known you for several years. And if you've known me for several years, you know I hate these and should not invite me to pay $50 for half an appetizer and a glass of wine.
— veto posted 10/22/2008
here in portland we just give the waitress all of our credit cards with what we want charged on them written on the back. things are made easier by a lack of sales tax though.
— posted 10/22/2008
Agreed. I once ended up forking over 75 bucks for nachos and a burger and a couple Coronas and subsidized the others' friggin frozen daquiris. Daquiris! Never again.
— Veronica posted 10/22/2008
I would just like to say, as a server, there is almost nothing more annoying than a split-tab. I understand that it makes your life easier, but for us we a) usually get tipped less; b) are the ones who have to run all the separate credit cards (as in Portland); and c) while you're figuring out who owes what, the people waiting at the door get seated in another server's section, so we lose money on the tip from the next table.
— Emmy posted 10/22/2008
Don't invite more people to your birthday than you can afford to treat to dinner. plain and simple. That's what adults do. If you are old enough to have a birthday dinner than you are old enough to know better than to have people pay you to celebrate YOUR birthday.
— bri posted 10/22/2008
Nothing is more annoying than people who are so ridiculously petty about splitting dinner bills - particularly birthday dinner bills. Who fucking cares that your salad was $4.26 cheaper than my salad with chicken and that her mango martini was $3.00 more expensive than my white wine. It ALL evens out in the end. YOU take up two seats on the train, but i don't push your ass over to make more room for me. And YOU earn $50,000 more than I do for less work, but i don't expect you to pay "extra." And YOU monopolize our phone conversations with your obsessive self-doubting, but I know you need to talk. The more you hold on to this shit, the more shit you have. Lighten up, people, and let it go.
— Danielle posted 10/22/2008
Amen to this, sister! I HATE self-pay group "celebration" dinners. It's amazing to me that people don't realize how tacky it is to say (in essence): "Thanks for coming to my birthday party, your share of the bill is $54." Even better are group meals with my family, who have been known to invite younger (and broker) members 12-person meals at overpriced restaurants and offer to pick up the tab, but then passive-aggressively needle the meal recipients about it for months afterward. Dear lord, how I hate group meals.
— Eddy Kitt posted 10/22/2008
Danielle, We are not talking about $5 differences in expenses. It's when one person orders like a dinner salad and the others order an appetizer, entree, dessert, cocktails, coffee, etc. And what does this have to do with wages or monopolizing phone conversations, you nut?
— stinkstunk Stookie posted 10/25/2008
Danielle, it looks like YOU are the one "holding on to this shit."
— Adison posted 10/25/2008
I don't understand Danielle's hostility. Just because she doesn't share the same peeve (or worse, perpetuates the peeve) as Hairnette, it doesn't mean she has to slam others.
— Cynth posted 10/25/2008
This one is frustrating. Simply because it implies that friendship must be expressed monetarily. I have to be very frugal — I cook for myself 90% of the time. Then, somehow, after all of this calculated savings, I am required to pay $60 for an inferior meal. Usually, I am not even close enough to the birthday friend to talk to him or her, the food is often worse than what I would make myself, and it really doesn't feel like I'm even doing anything nice for the person. I see it as just paying my annual friend tax. Why don't I just send a check? I'd rather go get coffee with him or her another time. I'm really hoping this recession gets people back into apartment and house parties. $60 can provide food and drink for 10 people at home.
— Biffy posted 10/26/2008
Granted, we haven't been able to do it often the last year or two due to finances, the economy, and what have you, but we have a rather large extended family and like to occasionally eat out so no one has to cook or do dishes. Two words ~ separate checks! With our group that usually means one or two couples will pick up the tab for those who otherwise wouldn't be able to be there, we just let the server know "and us three on one check" when ordering. BTW we all tip. We know what a pain in the ass a large group is to serve.
— Rhayne posted 1/26/2011
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