PEEVE ››
When pregnant women complain about being pregnant.
"I'm so nauseous" or "I'm so tired". Well, so am I- nauseous and tired from listening to you whine about a completely preventable situation. No one forced you to get knocked up.
— GVC from NM | Health | 4.16.2009 | Comments (39)
COMMENTS ››
I can't imagine anything more complaint-worthy than having a foreign parasite inside of you, sucking you of your energy, nutrients, making you sick, tired, fat, causing you unbearable pain and a stretched out vagina upon removal, and then continuing to leach from you for the rest of your life. What do you have to complain about GVC? Besides initials that remind me of a second rate health food store?
— Hairnette posted 4/16/2009
Hairnette: I know you'll tirade me for this, but isn't that what s/he's talking about? Unless you're a Somali rape victim, s/he's got a point....
— Bronxy posted 4/16/2009
Um, not to point out the glaringly obvious, but such feelings can be avoided with two words: birth control. Because, you see, NOBODY MADE YOU DO THIS. Those who choose to be moms should accept the responsibility without making their kids (or anyone who will listen) feel like crap for existing. It's fine to mention that you're feeling morning sick or your boobs or feet hurt or whatever -- hell, I'll rub your feet and get you a ginger ale -- but going on and on about how terrible your post-pregnancy/post-kids life is just makes me think you lack the judgment to make responsible decisions and will probably be a terrible parent. In an overpopulated world where we'll likely see water wars in our lifetime, we can't afford to have parents who don't want to be parents and won't do a good job when they are. I've met the kids of parents like these, and they all hate themselves. What kind of person would do that to an innocent life they were responsible for creating?
— Diana posted 4/16/2009
Ah, the old "STFU up and deal with it. You made your choice!" an excellent response to women in all manner of situations!
— jmc posted 4/16/2009
Not so much STFU, but deal with it? Definitely. Taking personal responsibility for huge decisions that will affect people other than yourself is something I expect of all humans, regardless of genitalia.
— Diana posted 4/16/2009
Wow, this is insanely offensive and inherently sexist. a), sometimes birth control fails. So does this mean if a woman plans to not enjoy being pregnant, she should expect to either have an abortion or remain abstinent for her entire life while men can have sex whenever the hell they please? And b), it's entirely possible for someone to want to procreate without absolutely enjoying the immense physical pain involved, something that men who want to procreate don't have to worry about.
— Hannah posted 4/16/2009
Biology is definitely sexist and unfair in this case, I never said that women should love the pain of childbearing (that would be insane). Birth control fails, but emergency contraception works, and yes, there's also abortion. And adoption for those who don't believe in it. My only point is that if childbearing and child rearing makes you into a toxic, guilt-peddling jerk, as I have seen it do to some women, then the humane thing to do is not raise a kid in this environment. (And, to be clear, I have equal contempt for men who reject their pregnant partners sexually or chastise them for being fat or pull the "I just don't see you the same way so now I don't find you sexually attractive" thing once their partners are also moms.)
— Diana posted 4/16/2009
The specific example this peeve made me think of was a person who said to me "I hate kids, the idea of pregnancy disgusts me, and I find the idea of parenting awful, but my fiance wants kids and I told him I'd have one if it meant I never had to work again." This is a women who deserves wayyy more than sore feet. Nice, responsible moms-to-be are *welcome* to tell me their backs hurt or whatever else -- I respect the fact they are doing an incredibly hard thing.
— Diana posted 4/16/2009
I'm pregnant right now, not showing yet, and a girl who is as far along as I am is bitching all day long at work. The best part is that she keeps telling me, "Someday you'll understand." I can't wait to make her feel sheepish when I tell everyone that we're due a week apart and I haven't done any kind of whining.
— I agree! posted 4/16/2009
Diana -- Reasonable women can have ambivalent feelings about bringing a child into the world. Unless you've been pregnant, I don't think you can comment on how physically uncomfortable the process of pregnancy is. Moreover, very few intelligent and successful women would have children if a prerequisite for having them required that they be 100% thrilled with all the physical and emotional sacrifices that come along with it. And it's better to talk about the problems than to take it out on the fetus. Pregnant people tend to be asked how they're feeling more than non-pregnant people do. And thus given more opportunity to complain.
— Stinko posted 4/16/2009
Bronxy: I won't tirade you. I just imagine that being pregnant is probably so different from not being pregnant that the pregnant person is constantly surprised by their loss of control over their own body. It's probably hard to distract yourself from it. And add to that the anxiety that most people would feel about the end result, in my eyes, there's no reason to suppress it.
— Hairnette posted 4/16/2009
Passionate debates! Another reason to check out peevepile!
— Rob posted 4/16/2009
I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I have loved every minute of it. Ok maybe the 1st 3 months I was a little on edge, but you know, I planned this pregnancy and every little curve expected or not, it was my choice, and there is no reason to complain about it. I agree w/Diana pregnancy except in very rare cases is totally preventable, and once it happens it's not worth complaining about. Women who do spend their time pissing and moaning about the "discomfort" should have thought about that b4 spreading their legs. They need to realize it's not all about them anymore.
— Cat posted 4/21/2009
Being pregnant can be a scary sometimes. Complaining a little about it is a way to fish for encouragement and/or recognition of the fact that you're doing a very difficult thing. That's all. It doesn't mean that you're not happy and excited to be pregnant, or that you're going to be a horrible mother. I don't know, but when I ask a woman how her birth went, and she shyly starts telling me about how she went into convulsions during her emergency C-section after being in labor for 12 hours, that makes me not mind listening to some pregnant woman with sore feet complain for 30 seconds.
— Carmen posted 4/25/2009
When I was pregnant of my first one, I felt that I hard a hard time. I was sick and bloated, retaining water, full of aches and pains. In short, I really did not like being pregnant. Now, I'm pregnant of my second one, I am much more sick, tired, pain, headaches, and I wjould like to say that I hate being pregnant. But at the same time, I feel spoiled for complaining. There are many people out there wishing to be me, to be pregnant, to be blessed with a healthy baby, and would not mind a few inconveniences. So, I try not to complain to much. But how is anyone going to know and understand that I can't stand on my legs for an hour without fainting, that I don't want to come for dinner, because I'm likely to vomit at the table, or that I really cannot be the driver on a 40-hour drive, because I will fall asleep and kill us all!! How will they know?
— Suzanne posted 5/18/2009
I am pregnant and I feel like crap. My partner doesn't mind hearing me complain in fact he feels very bad for me, but he is the only one that I complain to
— posted 6/9/2009
if i could do the pregnancy for my girlfreind i would to shut her up and show her it cant be that bad
— simon posted 6/16/2009
holy hell if i knew it would be this annoying i would of got a vesectmie when i was 14. all i here is bitch nag moan. i love her but damn i wanna be happy also.
— tommy posted 4/17/2010
@tommy: Gestate a human being inside your body for 9 months, then you can tell a pregnant woman how "annoying" her "bitch nag moan" is getting. Every time men have the tiniest of physical complaints, they act like they are going to die. It's utterly hilarious. If men were the sex to be pregnant, it would be a whole new world.
— Sidney posted 4/21/2010
I hate to hear a pregnant woman complain because there are women in this world, myself included that can’t conceive a child. It kills me to think that I may never experience carrying a child or raising a new born. Pregnant women should be grateful for being blessed with a child and be mindful that others are not as fortunate and would give anything to take their place.
— posted 6/17/2010
GVC and his compatriots are idiots. You got here because someone went through exactly the kind of discomfort that you're complaining about "hearing about" right now. As someone who tried for years to conceive and is finally pregnant, I DON'T walk around complaining about it, only because it seems like looking a gift horse in the mouth. But if you had the kind of pain and discomfort that I--and most other pregnant women have--from the constant puking to the feet so swollen you can't put any pressure on them to the rash that covers your entire body to the hemorrhoids to the leg cramps that make it impossible to sleep, you'd be complaining every second of your miserable day... Just be grateful that someone went through that for you and STFU.
— Camille posted 8/16/2010
if you have a kitten is it okay to be pregnant ?
— kylie posted 8/25/2010
i've been pregnant more then once, and its never been all fun and games. the first five months i lived in constant fear of puking on someone. The last four I lived in fear of pissing myself. does that mean i didn't enjoy feeling those darling fetal kicks, going to baby showers, knitting booties and getting ultrasounds? No. I loved that part. and the labor, god that wasn't fun, but do I love the baby? of course. Preganacy is like beign at an amusement park You spend a lot of time waiting around and uncomfortable, there are some exciting moments, and sometimes you throw up.
— rachel posted 9/12/2010
This isn't sexist. It's true. I'm a woman and get sick and tired of women whining about wanting to become mothers, and then they get pregnant and act like such victims of a horrible crime. I'm quite sure it's not comfortable. My sister had a baby and she wasn't a whiny brat about it. She dealt with it. Complaining every now and then isn't bad, but it's the constant "oh, feel sorry for me" attitude that gets annoying.
— Jacki posted 10/24/2010
You could read every book on every symptom of pregnancy, and you still would have no idea what to expect until you are actually pregnant. There is so much that no one writes about or will tell you! If most women knew what they were "in for" before becoming pregnant, very few would willingly subject themselves to the ongoing pain and discomfort that goes along with carrying a child. The child at the end is the prize and the only reason anyone would willingly have more than one.
— Stretched at the Seams posted 1/21/2011
Speaking as a woman who has been pregnant (after trying for years) and then miscarried, I can say this is a huge pet peeve of mine. I enjoyed being pregnant. Sure, it causes pain and discomfort, but it is a privilege to be able to have a child and therefore, totally worth every bit of it. I have been trying unsuccessfully again for a child for 2 years now, so when I hear a woman complaining about being pregnant, especially those who elected to get pregnant, I absolutely want to tell her to shut up and deal with it. And even more so for those women who have had previous pregnancies. You knew what you were getting yourself into, you chose to get this way, and there are MANY women who would kill to be in your shoes. Be a little more sensitive to others and quit fishing for sympathy, because you won't get any here. I would gladly trade places with you. And I bet you wouldn't complain so much if you had lost a child or struggled with infertility.
— Rachel posted 2/4/2011
I understand how people can say that "you need to get over it" or "you made your choice" but if women knew how bad and painful pregnancy can be most would turn running. Through two pregnancies I didn't complain except to my mom because my first was very hard and anyone else would have though I was overreacting or exaggerating. I've been on the receiving end but I think all complaining pregnant women want is a little understanding and a pat on the back as a reminder that it's not permanent.
— mel posted 2/21/2011
I'm fine with pregnant women complaining, as long as they acknowledge that they are NOT in the only people in the world dealing with nausea, aches, pains....Some of us have to deal with that EVERYDAY b/c we've got cancer, endometriosis, fibroids......and guess what, we didn't CHO"OSE these diseases, they chose US. and, bc of these diseases, we can never be pregnant. We don't get to moan and complain about these all the time, because most people wouldn't understand anyway. ANd do me a favor, don't comapre your pregnancy to living with a chronic, life threatening illness. get over it, people have tougher lives than you...we jsut don't have a free license from society to complain about it all the time!
— lalaine posted 2/23/2011
right on, rachel!
— lalaine posted 2/23/2011
I think, like anything, it's about balance. Nobody likes an outright whiner, especially if they're whining to anybody within earshot. That said, every pregnancy is different, and some unpleasant side effects can catch people by surprise. If someone is in genuine discomfort and I can do something productive to help, then I'm happy to do so. Someday, we'll all be elderly and will lose our ability to function at 100%. It would be nice to know that other people actually care about us and empathize with our frustrations.
— Alpha posted 3/28/2011
Anyone who feels comfortable commenting on how someone feels when they are pregnant is an idiot. Especially if that person is a man or has never been pregnant. If you feel shitty then you should be able to say so pregnant or not. Some people have better pregnancies than others. Mine suck but whatever I deal with it and I don't force everyone to listen to me complain. But if someone asks how I'm feeling I don't censor myself because "I should have thought about that before I opened my legs" or "I have no right to discomfort because I don't have a terminal illness". And all you pious happy preggo chicks can shove it all high and mighty. Guess what, I might feel like crap but your fatass looks like you got attacked by Freddy with alll those stretch marks. Too bad I can't empathize being as how my whiny butt doesn't get them. How does it feel?! Don't be a traitor! If someone is really annoying you with tmi and unsollicited information about their personal life just avoid them or grow a pair and tell them what's up. Pregnant chicks are alienated from the rest of the populace. All this weird stuff is going on with their bodies but no one else understands and there is no way really to help them to. They just want something to talk about and the only thing you can really do when your pregnant is be pregnant. So what if it's annoying. You know what else is annoying? Hearing all your stories about how drunk you got last night or how awesome the sushi is. Being an asshole is just as preventable as pregnancy. Just sayin!
— Liscense2rant posted 4/8/2011
All I have to say is unless you have gone through a pregnancy you have no room to talk. No not every pregnancy is the same and some ate sick while others are not. I am on baby number 4 and I was never sick with the first three and am very sick with number 4.
— posted 4/16/2011
I am 28 weeks pregnant and I planned it. I did this because I want the end result which will be my 2nd child. I knew going into this that being pregnant sucks and because my husband can't carry the baby here I am. I am not one of those people who feels that pregnancy and child birth is a beautiful thing and I much prefer to hear someone say that then fill the room with a bunch of bs about how great it is. 9 months is a long time while you are living it with as many restriction as a pregnant person has. Let’s just be real here, kids do kind of suck, I love my daughter and will love my son but to think that the sun shines out of their ass all day every day is just plain delusional.
— erin posted 5/16/2011
I planned my pregnancy and love my baby. Does that mean I have to love being pregnant? Your body goes through so much when you are pregnant, only someone who has been through it themselves can truly understand. Also as someone else pointed out, people are constantly asking you how you are feeling but they don't want an honest answer. Hormones also play a big part in the complaining. Most people who don't feel well regardless of the reason behind it tend not to sugar coat things.
— mami posted 6/29/2011
If your pet peeve is hearing a pregnant woman complain that nausea feels like the room is spinning after a 24hr hangover, then don't ask. Any of you non-sympathizers ever hear of karma? Well guess what.. karma's a bitch. (That includes the women who can't get pregnant. Jealousy is a vicious thing, so learn to love and live with what you have) A woman can want a baby, prepare and plan a baby and still wake up pregnant feeling like she went from sea level to 9,000 ft in elevation overnight. LOVE!
— Sandra posted 7/22/2011
When I was pregnant, I had the bloating, nausea and dizziness, but I have 30lbs of titanium fused with my spine and hips, so I had a little more discomfort than others. I still kept my mouth shut.
— Barbara posted 8/1/2011
good
— fugh posted 11/22/2011
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